Arranged Marriage

My parents had an arranged marriage!  In 1945, some friends, “paisans,” knew both my mother’s and father’s families. My mother was 25 years old and my father was 32 years old.

Their “paisans” thought that my mother and father would make a good couple and that they should meet in hopes of a marriage. At this time, my mother had never dated. On a day in late summer, in August of 1945, my father’s family visited my mother’s family to introduce them. This was their first introduction to each other.

From what my mother told me many years ago, she figured he was a nice guy so she accepted to marry him. They were never allowed to be alone together before they were married.

Shortly after meeting and agreeing to be married, they had an engagement party with all of their friends and family. On November 3, 1945, they were married at St. Francis of Assisi Church on Clark Street in Auburn, NY with all of their family and friends there to celebrate with them.

My mother’s wedding dress was white satin with a long veil and she looked beautiful!  Her maid of honor was my father’s sister, Francesca, and my father’s best man was my mother’s brother, Salvatore.  My mother’s cousins were her bridesmaids.

Their honeymoon was a trip to visit an aunt and uncle in Indiana and my father’s parents and sister went with them.  That’s the way things were back then.

The following year, 11 months after they were married, my oldest brother, Vincent, was born. My brother, Rosario, was born 4 years later and I followed a few months short of 4 years later. Their family was complete.

Years later, I asked my mother if they loved each other.  She told me that they learned to love each other. They were married for 42 years until my father, Melchiorre, died of cancer in 1986.  My mother, Lucia, passed away in 2006.


Comments

Arranged Marriage — 9 Comments

  1. Thank you so much! I always found it interesting that my parents were matched. I often wonder which other members of my family were also matched? Do you know anyone that was?

    I hope you will sign up on my blog on the right side of my posts. Please share this with your friends!

    Thanks so much!
    Mary

    • Thanks, Diane! We have so many wonderful memories from our childhood! Do you remember the strong smelling cheeses and olives we used to bring to school? We would open our desks and stick our heads in them and try to eat the olives and cheese thinking no one would smell them! Someone would loudly complain that they smelled too much and we were told to put them out in the hallway in the coat racks! They sure tasted good to us!!!

    • Hi Sarah! I was VERY pleasantly surprised to receive your comment! How are you related to the Fallons from Dunning Avenue? How did you find my blog? My mother used to talk about your family all of the time!!! I knew about them from the time I was a young child. I think your family lived in the next farmhouse down from my grandparents’ house on Dunning Avenue. The Fallon family was a big part of my mother and her family’s life. I think you just might enjoy some of the other stories about my mother. She was such an amazing woman!!! Thank you so much for writing to me! Fondly, Mary Indelicato Jacobs

      • Hi Mary,
        First, I saw your comment on Marie Donofrio Behuniak’s facebook page. Marie and I were in the class of 63 at Mt. Carmel.
        And when I saw the Indelicato name and the promise of Italian receipes I checked out your blog.

        My family’s farm was next to your Grandparents farm on Dunning Ave. I was the youngest, and had 2 older brothers and 2 older sisters. I think I’m a bit older than your brother Vincent, as I remember your mother bringing him with her when she came to visit my mother.
        I remember much about your family in the 50’s and would be happy to share if you’re interested.
        Enjoyed reading about the arranged marriage, and when I saw the wedding photo was quite sure that was the Lucy I remembered. She always stayed young in my mind!

        Thanks for writing back and feel free to use my email if you’d like.

        Sweet memories–
        Sarah Fallon Galshack

        • I would love to hear any stories you have about my mother’s family on the farm. I am including memories on my blog and also in my cookbook when I publish it sometime in spring of 3016. Please tell me your memories and stories! Thank you so very much!

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